So much for bad luck…

I’m climbing, on the rise of my drunkenness, and all the while these Jack Daniel,whiskey shots are complimentary to this cold evening. It keeps me warm while I try to entertain myself on bleak, repetitive Friday nights like tonight. I’m also under the influence of a beautiful plant; the most recognized herb for its highs and lows. In the reality of it all, I’m cooking in the kitchen of this warm, comfortable home where I currently reside. Thanks to my boyfriend, everything is great. Except for the part where he’s not present.

I for one, am missing the person whom I am most connected to. Him. Maybe I’m just being a cry baby but I sulk at the thought that he’s not sitting at this kitchen table waiting for me to gather my cross-faded mind and finally being able to finish preparing our meal. Probably for the fourth or fifth time. I always tend to get sidetracked when I’m feeling groovy. But besides all of that, that’s not the point.

It’s the beginning of January and I start my year off alone. Restless. I can’t seem to wrap my head around this nostalgic feeling. Perhaps I’ve felt and been through this before. Deja vu maybe? No, that can’t be it.— I soundlessly thought to myself. I couldn’t put my finger on it. As spiritual as I am I feel like this is something more simply, maddening, like a curse. It is possible that I am being a tad bit dramatic, but how is it so, that I tend to find my self in similar situations, at certain key points in the year, every year since I was a little kid and could remember.

I guess I just wasn’t accustom to being right, since I was wrong 50% of the time. I traveled back to my room as I flexed my conspiring thoughts about the patterns and synchronizations of my uneventful but at the same time very eventful life. Sometimes I get ahead of myself and it gets to be too much so I began to pour myself another shot to ease my mind.

Sitting criss crossed and intoxicated on the brown, memory filled carpet, I nuzzled the Dia de los muertos themed shot glass full of liquid gold. I took a deep breath and before I shot the liquid fire back into the pits of my throat and stomach I mumble apathetically under my breath , So much for bad luck.

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